Redfisher Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Lifted from HCS.... How to get Conditioned for Snowmobiling1. Go to your local snowmobile dealer, smile and give the first guyyou see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on aregular basis.2. Fill a 45-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now liftit out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5times per day. This will get your back in shape for lifting your sledout of the deep snow.3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly witheach arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middleyour back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled,which he conveniently forgot was out of gas. It's best to do thisexercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose andeyes also.4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative.Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulatedboots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paperproducts and wait for a personal emergency. This gets you prepare forthe Beer shits that come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put thecarburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Nowclimb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding apen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your sledin the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this witha leatherman tool.6. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil downthe right leg, gasoline down the other and Butter Ripple Schnapps andBeer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask yourwife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops atthe local bars during a ride.7. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to beer throughthe opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn tractorover in the nearest farmers' plowed field.8. Find a place where you can pay $1.40 a litre for regular gas;$19.99 per litre of oil; $16 for a Hamburger and frozen French Fries;$3 for a coke and $160 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springssticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This willprepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.9. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a$70,000 truck to pull the four $20,000 sleds, on your $15,000 trailerthat you still owe $50,000 on. Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhatconditioned to head for the trails and ride your sled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
02Sled Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Now that gave me a good chuckle... mostly true as well.... wouldn't be the first time we kept trying to start a sled that was out of gas.... usually my friends son had been out the day before and brought it home empty forgetting to tell anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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